05/30/11

5/30/11 is an unnamed episode released on the same date.

Pre-Show
Tara and Nash argue about the awesomeness of pink feathers, and Tara laments damage to her Hippo Ring. She reveals Totem Hippo briefly.

Show Intro
Catherine has found a lot of naked this time.

"Naked Suspect Ran Toward Officers"
A naked man ran around attacking people with fireworks, charging the cops when they arrived. Nash and Tara cringe at the idea of combining fireworks with naked, but otherwise the story is small by WTFIWWY standards.

"Mom Comes Home to Find Naked Man in Laundry Room"
A woman comes home to find a naked man hiding in her laundry room--more specifically, her daughter's boyfriend. She fled, but the man ran outside and jumped into her car, prompting her to lock the door to keep him from coming back. Her daughter got out of the shower to argue with her about him, but they were interrupted by the boyfriend kicking in the front door. The couple tried to leave but the police arrived. Tara and Nash wondered if they were still naked.

"Mom Beat Kid for Eating Her Pot"
A one-year-old child found her mother's marijuana in her purse and ate it, and the baby's mother hit it hard enough to leave welts. She then attacked her live-in partner with a dumbbell. Nash awards her a special place in hell and Tara wants her seated next to Sarah Palin on a cross-country bus trip with no bathroom breaks, but they decide that might be against the Geneva Conventions.

"Naked Woman at Police Station Says Spirits Directed Her There"
Tara describes how her friend helped her exorcise her apartment before they begin. In the story a woman was awoken by spirits in her apartment who told her to take off her clothes and go to the police. Tara wants to know if the spirits were hot and Nash speculates what it would be like if ghosts started just messing with people.

"Polk Deputy Tied Naked Children to Desk, Beat Them with Paddle"
Another special place in hell, by way of Florida: not only did the woman in question film herself spanking children with sex toys, she then sent the video to a boyfriend she met on a fetish site. Both hosts are disgusted.

"'Magic Penis' Killing Set for Trial Date"
Nash takes a minute to acknowledge the bewildering title. A trial date is being set for a group of people who lit a pastor on fire, killing him for allegedly talking to animals and using an invisible penis to sleep with women. They also accused his wife of turning into a snail and terrorizing the community. Nash is angry and confused by how something like this could even happen in the modern day. They discuss the concept of the invisible penis and what could be done with it.

"Justin Lauther Threatens Hunger Strike Over Seized Parrot"
A man who had his parrot Angus seized after he filmed it clinging to a windshield wiper on the highway began a protest outside the police station. He threatened a hunger strike until he had Angus back in his arms--whom he considered a best mate, not a pet. Nash wonders how you could even consider making someone hang onto your windshield is something you do to a friend--let alone without even saying sorry. Tara sees where he's coming from but doesn't think this is really a cause worth starving yourself to death over.

"New Zealand Trucker 'Blown Up Like Balloon" by Air Hose"
A New Zealand trucker who fell on a compressed air hose that "pierced his buttock" survived being blown up like a balloon. A horrified Tara wondered how they could even fix that. Nash concludes that whatever else happens, this was the worst day of that man's life.

"Naked Man Rammed Condo with Dump Truck"
Nash shows off the pictures of the damage to the condo. The naked guy had been involved in a party in another part of the complex and was involved in a confrontation there before he even got into the car, and he was under the influence of drugs. The truck narrowly missed the sleeping owner and his seven-year-old son. The naked guy then jumped out of the truck and started a fight with the Dad, who hit him in the head twice with a hammer, making himself officially the Best Dad Ever.

"Woman Goes on Rampage at Bradentoa Walmart"
A woman, leaving the Walmart with a shopping cart full of stuff she hadn't paid for, was questioned about it by a manager. She said she didn't have one and tried to hit him with a bar stool, getting out of the store as other employees tried to stop her and causing $12,000 worth of damage. When warned that the police would be called if she didn't leave, she began using carts to hit other cars, spit on basically everyone and punched them. When the first cop came she threw a phone at him; it took three officers to get her under control but she was still spitting and kicking in the back of the car and had to be restrained further. She admitted to medical staff that she'd taken unknown pills and then started to vomit. Nash and Tara are amazed by the sheer volume of crazy.

What Have We Learned Tonight
The argument about getting Nash hair feathers continues, this time with backup from an offscreen JesuOtaku.